kicking it old skool

Witnessed an amazing thing a few minutes ago. I think for the first time I truly witnessed the insanity that is the “human condition”.

I was on the bus, on the way home. There was this chick spewing Italian into her mobile phone, in what is obviously a heated discussion. Pretty soon though, it became worse, swapping between Italian and English as she’s quoting things this “other” person said. Got so bad that she had to get off the bus at the very next stop, since everyone was turning around and looking at her. Next, the bus driver starts driving aggressively, and at the next stop a bunch of people climb off, 3 of which from the top floor (of the 2 level bus) are having a argument, the chick actually punching the guy. Not sure if it was a “real” fight, but she was pretty upset.

The bus leaves the stop and waits for the light to go green. Next thing a guy on the sidewalk starts chirping the driver, asking him to open up. Now, busses don’t stop at any other place than a bus stop, but the bus stop is sorta close. Obviously, the driver ignores him, which doesn’t impress the dude on the sidewalk. Explosion ensues.

I guess these things are like, everyday occurrences. Only here, in London, it seems to happen a lot. Virtually every night, when in bed, I can hear people screaming at the top of their lungs at each other out in the street. And I don’t even live in a rough neighbourhood.

Why I reckon I’m really “seeing” it for the first time is because I’ve been quite contend and calm. Or in other words, not so into myself. People are really crazy. And they perpetuate the madness, not letting go of issues and allowing things to simmer.

I’ve also been very open to messages.

Case in point: friends birthday party, go over to his flat, meet all the folks, start chatting, turns out one of the lady’s there recognises my fiancé’. They chat and within 2 seconds realise that way way back, my fiancé worked for a pharmacy as a driver and this lady was a medical rep that used to come in there.

Now, in all the world, what are the chances of that? Even our friend, who was the common link here, was a chance meeting a year or so ago.

Where the message part comes in: she’s talking to other folks, I think the conversation was about careers, she’s saying how she’s like 40 and how she’s been overwhelmed by choices. One day it’s a vet, next a doctor, teacher, pilot… and so on. She completes the sentence with “in the end, I just did nothing.”

“in the end, I just did nothing”

That, is exactly my problem. I overwhelm myself, because I have way way way too many interests. I rarely follow through all the way. As a result, I never accomplish anything, so I feel like it’s a waste of time, and give up (or go on to the next thing).

Of course, that’s not entirely true. I DO accomplish things. The metrics for what I deem a success are too high. I’m too hard on myself. I want to be perfect, off the cuff. Over achiever are us.

So instead, and I’ve been doing this since the beginning of the year (with moderate success) is to set mini-goals. Do ONE photo, every day, and publish it. Just go to gym twice a week, for 45 minutes. Practice Tai-chi at your leisure, not in a race to perfect the posture cus you have to do 10 other things. What she said, and when she said it had a profound impact on me though. And thats the really cool thing, it brought it home and for the first time I made it my own.

Relax. You have lots of time. Enjoy. Be present.

This little entry is really for my future self, when I get bogged down in the details again.

Relax.

And enjoy. :)

[G], out

silence is not the way